Kiss still draws capacity crowds in large arenas. Sure, they’re all AARP members, but still.

Back in the fall of 1975, when the monster album “Kiss Alive” was released, I remember buying it at Korvette’s for $5.99.

In fact, that might have been my first “hard rock” album. I was a junior in high school, and was just starting to get into Led Zeppelin, Kansas, The Who, all that, and Kiss was in the mix too.

Kiss, of course, was outrageous. They wore ridiculous makeup and costumes, and bass player Gene Simmons used to spit fake blood and do crazy things with his huge lizard tongue. To me, that whole thing seemed a tiny bit campy and silly, but they quickly developed a reputation as a great live act, and sold out shows accordingly. For me, it was more about (some of) the music. “Rock and Roll All Nite” was a decent party anthem, and I liked a few other songs, especially “Room Service” from the Dressed to Kill album.

But, seriously, if somebody had told me back then that 34 years later, Kiss would still be spitting blood, wearing ridiculous makeup, and selling out large arenas for live shows, I would never have believed it. Outrageous is strictly for the under-30 set, right?

Well, believe it, bucko.

The crowd at the United Center was a bunch of old guys and gals, some even dressed up like their favorite Kiss band member.

Yow! The mind reels.

Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley, the founders of the group, must be doing pretty well for themselves: for just another $30 last Friday night at the UC, you could get a “USB leather wristband containing digital files of the night’s performance”.

Do the math on that profit margin, and multiply it by all that other crap you can buy at concerts. Think about all the other old fogeys doing concerts today, and how much cash is made from all that crap people buy at the shows. Say, how’s that career choice looking now?

My Kiss fascination ended pretty quickly. Within 4-5 years I wasn’t even listening to much hard rock any more. Maybe their wimpy ballad “Beth”, from their next studio record, had something to do with that. That song, in fact, might have started a huge 1980s trend: power ballads from hard rock bands. Gosh, thanks for that, guys! Really, that’s just awesome. Thanks again.

For completists only, I imagine: a 1994 tribute record called Kiss My Ass: Classic Kiss Regrooved, featuring Stevie Wonder, Garth Brooks, Lenny Kravitz, among others.

 

Quiz: Five Oldest Ballparks

What are the five oldest Major League ballparks, in order?

Weather Dorks and Rock Bands … Sure, Why Not?

There are some things that you just never expect to see in your lifetime.

The Cubs winning a World Series. Sensible politics in Washington. Being able to lose that last 15 pounds. A picture of Cheap Trick hanging with WGN weatherman Tom Skilling.

Oops, scratch that last one, because here it is.

Cheap Trick played live on WGN this morning: “I Want You to Want Me”, awesome as it ever was.

That Rick Nielsen, he can play guitar a little bit, eh? Funny, too. Watch the video.

Wilco is Streaming

Pretty cool … the new Wilco record can be streamed here.

It’s called “Wilco (The Album)”. Just in case you forgot the name of the band.

The cover shows a funky picture of a camel on a patio. With a party hat on.

Kids today don’t know how lucky they are. Why, back in my day, we had to drive to Korvette’s and spend $3.99 of our hard-earned money on a new record! In the snow!

Penguins of Madagascar Cartoon is Top Notch Entertainment

I don’t write reviews very often, but I just have to let you in on a fabulous secret: this new cartoon “Penguins of Madagascar” on Nickelodeon is fantastic.

Hilarious, clever, with excellent quality animation, it’s all about the silly hijinks that a bunch of zoo animals get into on a regular basis. But as funny as that can be, it isn’t what really makes this cartoon must see TV.

It’s the voices, and the writing, which are both really well-executed and absolutely hilarious. Easily some of the funniest I’ve ever seen in animation, going back to the classic Bugs Bunny and Roadrunner days.

There are some great characters too. My favorite is King Julien, the self-anointed King of the Lemurs. He has some kind of broken English accent and says silly things like “this is how a king is to be rolling” and “stop with the telling me things I don’t want to hear!”.

Another favorite is Skipper, the lead penguin who treats his gang like an elite Special Forces crew. He sounds a little bit like John Wayne (spit this line out staccato with emphasis on the bolded letters): “he thinks he can bribe us with his pinata promises”.

My kids and I quote King Julian and Skipper all the time. Then we all laugh like loons. What could be better than that?

I could go on and on, but that would be wasting your time and mine. Just watch it and see what you think. It’s a big hit around our house. And I would even watch it when the kids aren’t around, it really is that entertaining. Think “Sponge Bob” with less annoying voices and more characters, many of them very funny.

Here is a review in the L.A. Times.

The premiere in March was the most watched show in Nickelodeon history.

What was your favorite memory of the 2009 Kevin Smith nhl.com blog?

If you’re anything like me—and let’s hope you’re not—you didn’t even realize oddball movie director Kevin Smith was blogging at nhl.com as part of their gaggle of “celebrity bloggers”.

CLick here to … ooops! Too slow!

He did one blog post this year before he and nhl.com reached a mutual agreement that maybe he was better off blogging at silentbobspeaks.com, his regular site.

Perhaps it had something to do with his using variations of Wayne Gretzky’s name as code for swears. As in, “Devils in 5. [Wayne] you if you don’t believe me.”

Too close to call!

There Are People Who Want to Ban the Comic Sans Font?

… SERIOUSLY?!

.

WELL, SUCK ON THIS, FONT-NAZIS!

Bernie Williams: Former Ballplayer, Current Jazz Guitarist

Two of My Favorite Things Together: Baseball and Music

Check out Bernie Williams playing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” unplugged:

He does a very nice job interpreting that tired old sing-along in a new way. Quiet, reflective, acoustic. Nice.

Go ahead, click already, I can pretty much guarantee it will be the coolest thing you’ll hear all day. He has a new CD out Tuesday called Moving Forward, on Reform Records.

I think this is just outstanding.

Former athletes, for whatever reason, rarely embark on new creative challenges like “jazz guitarist”

As many of us can attest, it isn’t easy to take on new challenges in your forties. If it was, you’d see a whole lot more people doing it. Most of us slide quietly into whatever is easiest, whatever involves just about zero risk.  Becoming a professional musician at that age is usually not on the menu.

Yet Bernie Williams is ready to risk his very well-known name in a very public way.  For very little money, I suspect.

Of course, his risk might be mitigated somewhat by, you know, being Bernie Williams, and having made a whole bunch of money playing for the Yankees for 16 years. Unless he invested heavily with AIG or Bernie Madoff.

Still, I for one applaud his effort. And after watching that video, I think he’s got some pretty decent guitarist chops, too.

How Defense Wins Games

I love Reed Johnson

Your One-Stop Shop for Billy Corgan Recent Weirdness Updates!

Billy Corgan of Smashing Pumpkins has been very busy annoying rock critics lately, and as we all know, rock critics hardly ever let sideshow issues color their opinions of music artists.

Conveniently, as a service to my literally dozens of loyal readers and also search engine bots, I’ve provided a handy guide to “Billy Corgan’s Recent Weirdness as Chronicled by Jim DeRogatis”.

First Billy came out in favor of the Ticketmaster/LiveNation merger. As one can well imagine, lots of important legal papers and decimal points are involved. Also, the opinions of rock critics. Fortunately for you I have no opinion on it whatsoever. This may save you vitally important seconds of your life; you can thank me later.

A bit later, he split with long-time drummer, Jimmy Chamberlain. Not sure why. Don’t really care either. Some folks might.

Here he is celebrating Sasha Gray’s 21st birthday. She is a porn star, I guess. Never heard of her. Click on the link for a boring picture featuring fully-clothed people. Regardless, Billy was on the VIP list for this one … for some strange reason that I don’t want to know, or picture. Mental bleach, please!

Then he appeared at some “peta2″ event protesting abuse of chickens. Chickens that are, it must be said, raised solely to be (1) killed and (2) eaten. Also, they are chickens. There, he posed in this awkward photo with Tila Tequila, who is somebody famous but I don’t know how or why. Possibly because she is hawt?

OK, so I was wrong … none of this is all that important, after all.  Sorry. There’s 45 seconds of your life you’ll never get back! Or just 30, if you’re a fast reader.

Songs I Like a Lot: “Reason to Believe”

Rod Stewart did the most famous version, and it’s the only one I know well. Here he is from 2008:

Partial lyrics and tab:

G             D              G
If I listened long enough to you
           C      D                     G
I'd find a way to believe that it's all true
A                D             C             G
Knowing that you lied straight faced while I cried
        Em             C         D
Still I look to find a reason to believe

CHORUS:
             C            D            Em      D
Someone like you makes it hard to live without somebody else
             C            D                Em          D
Someone like you makes it easy to give and never think about myself

.

Great use of words, timeless message, beautiful melody.

A perfect song, pretty much.

Which is one reason why it’s been recorded by at least 15 different artists, including Dashboard Confessional, Bruce Springsteen, Peter Paul and Mary, Bobby Darin, Gary Lewis and the Playboys, the Carpenters, Billy Bragg, and many others.

I suspect that most songwriters would sell their soul to write one song this good, this durable, this timeless, in their entire career.

“Reason to Believe” was written by Tim Hardin in 1965. He died in 1980, aged just 39 years.

Another good version, this one by Billy Bragg and Lisa Miller:

Obama Appears on 60 Minutes to Work on Jumper

WASHINGTON (03-23-09) - In a sign of increasing desperation, President Barack Obama appeared on 60 Minutes Sunday to work out the kinks in his jump shot.

"As you can probably guess, I'm under a lot of stress lately. I need a release, and basketball is my release. But my jumper isn't falling, and I don't know why. So I figure, if I can go on ESPN and Jay Leno, why not 60 Minutes?" said the pickup-basketball playing president.

He went 4 for 22 in the interview.

Rediscovering a Long Lost Classic

Eddie and the Hot Rods “Do Anything You Wanna Do”

An anthem for the young. And maybe, the not-so-young.

Top Nine Reasons Cubs Will / Won’t Win 2009 World Series

Everybody’s favorite team to pity, the Chicago Cubs, is back at it for the 2009 season.

Surprisingly, they have won two Central Division titles in a row, for the first time in like twelve thirty eight a whole big bunch of years.  Yeah, I’m too lazy to look it up, really. Let’s just go with “been a real long time”.

So, in breaking it down, there are two camps here:  people who figure the Cubs should win it again, and maybe even finally get to a World Series, and people who are White Sox fans, who enjoy their hatred for the North Siders a little too much (quite frankly, we’d recommend professional help).

Accordingly, let’s look at some of the reasons the Cubs will both win, and fail to win, the 2009 World Series.

Top Nine Reasons Chicago Cubs *Will* Win 2009 World Series

9. They win every 101 years, like clockwork baby!
8. Milton Bradley is best combination toy company / baseball player name ever
7. Kosuke Fukudome can’t really be as bad a hitter as he was latter half of last year … right?
6. Two words: Aaron Miles.
5. Nothing would piss off White Sox fans more
4. Lou Piniella is getting old, really need to get this done right now, fellas
3. Figure they can quit bluffing and start trying now, after going 0-6 in playoffs last two years
2. Probably the best way to get both White Sox fans and the media to stop talking about the 101 year thing, it’s getting super annoying, and killing all of them just seems rash
1. Media cabal conspiracy for killer TV ratings, umps and commissioner in on it too, of course

Top Nine Reasons Chicago Cubs *Won’t* Win 2009 World Series

9. Haven’t won it in 101 years, not likely to start now
8. Obama is a Sox fan, and thinking of pushing legislation through that would make it illegal
7. Team is named the Chicago … Cubs – duh!
6. Outside curve balls in the dirt still not outlawed, for some odd reason;  Ramirez, Soriano, Lee very upset
5. Billly Goat curse still in effect for another, let’s see, …. yes, another 1,000,000  years
4. Steve Bartman is a voodoo zombie master, with lots of voodoo dolls and pins, and he knows how to use them!
3. No matter how good they might be in the regular season, will find yet another creative way to meltdown when the pressure is on, somehow
2. Dusty Baker Effect lingering many years past expiration date
1. Relying on the “damn day games screw them up every year” excuse

Top 10 Reasons Tiger Woods Came Back Early

10. Newborns cry at night.
9. Hasn’t kicked any Phil Mickelson hiney in a loooonnng time.
8. Bored with counting the money from his $100M yearly income aside from golf.
7. Have I mentioned, newborns cry alot?  ‘Cuz they do.
6. Wants to try out the cool new set of irons he bought at Wal-Mart for $129.  With free sand wedge!
5. President of CBS offered to wash Tiger’s fleet of cars, every week for the rest of his life.
4. You can only do so many Sudoku puzzles.  Especially the impossible 6 star kind.  Really, is that necessary?  Making us feel like idiots?  It’s a puzzle, not a torture device.
3. Baby … crying … must … get … sleep.
2. PGA Tour officials were starting to get a little too emo. Time to man up.
And the number one reason is …
1. Wife finally told him to get off his butt, cut out the beer drinking, get out of the house, and find a damn job.

Sounds Like the Least of Your Problems

If you’ve ever wondered why nobody ever called in to “Car Talk” and asked how to patch a bunch of bullet holes, wonder no more!

Top Thirteen Goofy NFL Mascots

Those of us who watch our NFL action at home don’t get to see them very often, but there are mascots patrolling the sidelines at most of those games.  Some of them are pretty cool; for instance, the Cardinals, the Bengals, the Falcons, these I can work with.

But some of them are either a) goofy looking for b) have goofy names, or c) both.  I guess that’s part of their job, but there is a fine line between “cool, silly, and goofy” and “just plain goofy”.  Here’s a list of “just plain goofy”.

Songs I Like A Lot: “Sunny Side of Heaven” by Fleetwood Mac

Just one of many great songs from the classic album “Bare Trees”, when the masterful and mercurial Danny Kirwan was the main musical influence in the band.

Kirwan’s “Sunny Side of Heaven” is instrumental, melodic, and positively hypnotic. If you’ve never heard any Fleetwood Mac from before Lindsey Buckingham and Stevie Nicks joined the band, you ought to check into this song, and the rest of “Bare Trees”. Musically, there is a lot going on here; I first heard it back in 1977-8, and it still sounds fresh each time I listen to it today, 30 years later.

Last night I went running, and chose “Bare Trees” as my listening companion. I found it to be perfect for running or working out, because it is that rare combination: equal parts musical power and energy, beautiful melody, grunge guitar workout, calm peaceful interludes, and solid songwriting. It sounds good on earphones, too.

You can have your 23 minute Grateful Dead jams; I’ll take a beautiful, perfectly constructed 3+ minute instrumental like “Sunny Side of Heaven”, thanks.

As I’ve learned over the years, the trick is knowing where to leave the spaces between the notes.

Friday Fun: Kris Versteeg Interviewed by Sarah Spain

A pretty young lass with some very, um, prominent frontal features, intimidating interviewing a young Chicago Blackhawks hockey player.

Watch his eyes try not to go there. If you can.

Songs I Like A Lot: “Wedding Bell Blues” by the Fifth Dimension

Yes, I Know, It’s “Pop”, So It’s Kinda Lame, But I Don’t Care

This song is actually kind of an inside joke about the engagement between group members Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis, Jr. This wikipedia page says that when the song was recorded in 1969, they were actually engaged, but had yet to set a date. Their producer, Bones Howe, therefore thought it would be funny to record the song, which was written by Laura Nyro three years earlier. When performing this song on TV, as you can see in the video above, they would ham it up, her reaching out to him and pulling him closer, him giving the “uh oh, how can I get out of this” looks.

The song actually wasn’t released as a single until after a disc jockey in San Diego started playing it from the album, and once released, it went to #1 in the US for 3 straight weeks in October 1969.

The main reason I like it is McCoo’s voice: a lyrical, lovely combination of smoothness and power. Not real hard on the eyes, either.

Later, they formed a duo and had some hits of their own, like “You Don’t Have to Be a Star”, which is another song I should hate, but actually like.

And you gotta love this: Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis Jr. are still married today, and even wrote a book in 2004 called “Up, Up and Away: How We Found Love, Faith and Lasting Marriage in the Entertainment World“.