I’d like to take this opportunity to acknowledge the genius that decided that yard waste, such as sticks, branches, and pulled up weeds, should be stuffed into paper bags for disposal.
You, sir, are an ass.
Sticks and branches, as it turns out, don’t fit all that well into paper bags. They catch on the top of the bag on the way in, and once you get them in, they poke through the sides. The alternative is to spend perfectly good hours of your life, that you’ll never get back, breaking up sticks into segments no longer than 8 inches.
Interesting factoid: we used to be able to burn the damn things in the backyard.
Apparently, this is viewed as progress by many people. Many people, unfortunately, are stupid.
Even thinking about this system for any length of time — say, for 3/10 of a second — reveals how inefficient it would be. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that putting groups of sharp things into a paper bag causes some problems.
But, alas, stuffing sticks into bags is our reality. I imagine thanks are owed to various groups: the Enviro-weenies that push this lunacy, the profit-motivated waste hauler that happily charges $1.95 per yellow sticker to put on the bags, and the brave city government leadership that signs on the dotted line. The net result is that you either (a) perform this stupid slave labor yourself, (b) pay somebody else to do it, (c) ignore your yard, or (d) dump all this stuff in the neighbor’s yard.
So, for me it looks like (d). Go ahead and call the cops, I don’t care. I’ll deny everything.