Dear Ms. Bravo Channel

Or is it “Miss?”

Hmmm. Hard to tell.

Anyhoo. We watched “Apollo 13” on your station the other night, and while the movie itself is always gripping (even on my third or fourth viewing), the Bravo channel really needs to get a grip.

See, here’s the deal, Ms. Bravo Channel. Your channel targets gays and women. We all know that. So you figured, hey, let’s program something to draw in viewers that might not otherwise stop on by. Like, “Apollo 13”. So far, so good.

Then you had to go and ruin it by running promos for your lame original programming. Incessant promos, including those super-annoying pop up things that run during the movie, and cover stuff on the screen we might want to see.

Seriously, interrupting an epic life or death drama with promos for silliness like “Is This Show Gay Enough For You?” and “No? How About This One Then?” just makes you look like a silly channel, programming silly shows.

Oh, sorry, those are not actual Bravo shows? My bad. It’s just so hard to tell one from the next!

For me, they all just blend together into a giant 24×7 tapestry called “Celebration of All Things Metrosexual … OK, We Admit It, It’s Totally Gay!” A mauve and lavendar tapestry, I believe. With sequins. And pasties. And some other stuff we probably shouldn’t go into here.

So, good on you for putting on “Apollo 13” in the first place. But bad on you for being so damn annoying, to the point of detracting from the movie.

To quote Jack Nicholson from “Terms of Endearment”, I’d rather stick needles in my eyes.

This past weekend, I noted you tried the same tactic with “Major League”. Same deal, I’m sure, though I didn’t watch, because my second thought (after “I love that movie!”) was “… but it’s on Bravo, so forget it”.

Nice Try, But Still Never Going To Watch Your Regular Programming


Comments are closed.