Didn’t Get The Memo, I Guess

One evening last week, I saw one of those cheap-o laser pointer lights in the checkout line at a local auto parts store. So I bought it.

It was a well-thought out purchase, obviously.

But it was only $4, and it had a little flexible LED flashlight head on it too. Plus, and here’s what sealed the deal, the guy told me he had one and his cat loved it. Well, we have a cat too, and I’ve seen those videos on America’s Funniest Home Videos, where the cat jumps around like a maniac, chasing a little point of light. So I figured, why not, I’ll get one and maybe the cat and I can have fun with it.

So I bring it home, and shine it at his feet, at the wall, at the floor nearby. Nothing. I shine it in his eyes, on the wall again, on the stairs, on the ceiling. Zip.

Eh. Maybe he’s just not in the mood. It happens.

So I wait another day or two. Try it again. Still nothing.

This cat doesn’t even react to the light, or acknowledge it in any way. He gives no indication that he even sees it. Maybe he’s actually been blind all the years, and I didn’t know it! But I doubt it.

I think he’s probably just old and lazy. Maybe a little retarded, too. In any event, he cares nothing for the little red light. That I bought just for him.

You’d think he’d show a little more appreciation! Let’s see, he’s nine years old, and I’ve bought him … ummm, carry the 6 … okay, I’ve only bought him one toy in nine years. BUT, I have lovingly provided a series of rubber bands, paper bags, and milk carton cap rings over the years, rather than throwing them in the garbage. Does this count for nothing?

Yes, in fact, it does count for nothing. But that doesn’t matter now. The point is, the stupid cat doesn’t understand that he is genetically programmed to chase little points of light.  We must have the only cat in the history of the animal kingdom that does not chase little points of light.

But what can I do?  The warranty period is expired; I believe it was a 24 hour return policy on the kitty we got back in Sept. 1998.  So, we’re a little past that, now.  We’re stuck with the crazy thing.  So I’ll keep working on him.  Maybe I can train him, like a dog.

Yeah.  That’ll work.


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