Cub Fans, or Big Fat Weenies?

Since I like to listen to sports talk radio and read the sports blogs and read the sports sections of major newspaper websites and read sites like and talk about sports and am generally, you know, into the sports world … and more specifically, since I live in the Chicago area and have lived here for nearly all of my 48+ years on this planet … and even more specifically, since I have followed the Chicago National League Ballclub for many, many of those years … and even more specifically, since I have learned my lesson about getting emotionally tied to the fortunes of baseball teams, in 1969 … and 1972 … and 1973 … and 1977 … and 1984 … and 1989 … and 1998 … and 2003 … and since I have an analytical mind, and have learned some things over the years … then I feel very qualified to say …

All you Cub fan weenies out there, calling the radio shows, crying “oh I just know we’re going to blow it again, boo hoo hoo” … you really need to grow a pair, and shut the hell up.

Sorry for the bile and anger, but this has annoyed me for years.

Sports is one of the few areas in life where results matter. Games are played, according to the rules, and one team wins and one team loses. It’s a beautiful thing. And this pretty much ends the debate about which team is “better”, in the sense that, “better” means you won the game (or the series).

Note there is nothing in there about ghosts, or curses, or other silliness.

This year’s Cubs team is not carrying ghosts from 1945, or 1908, or 1932, or 1969, or any other year you want to point at. This collection of players was not there, and knows nothing about any of that, and doesn’t care about any of that. And neither should you.Baseball games are won on the field of play, usually by the team that deserves to win, because of execution. If you’re not good enough to win, ergo, you don’t. There are some rare exceptions to this, but here is the funny part: even those exceptions are moot. Winning is all that matters. It is the whole point of playing every season, every inning, every pitch. It’s a pretty effective way of sorting teams into “better than the other team in that short series” and “worse than the other team in that short series”.

That’s all there is to it.

Ignore the media when they bring up these “haven’t won since 19XX” angles, because they always do, and it is always just as dumb and pointless as the last time they did it. They need to put random crap in the paper and on the airwaves every freaking day, and most of it is … random crap. Don’t fall for it.
This year’s Cubs team, with this year’s players, has a game against the Diamondbacks on Wednesday. Pitchers will pitch, hitters will hit, defenders will defend. Managers will manage. Whoever executes on all this the best will probably win. End. Of. Story.

Here I thought, all these years, that the sports world was a macho world filled with testosterone and chutzpah and whatever else sounds masculine and ballsy, and where winners and losers are determined on the field. And maybe that is still true, as far as the players go. But the fans seem to have a big contingent that instead takes the view that somebody (or something) is forcing certain teams to lose. For eternity, pretty much.

Say it with me, come on, I know you can … we’re old enough, and smart enough, and gosh darn it, we’re good enough to understand that it’s all about players and managers and execution and a little bit of luck.

If you win, good for you, and congratulations! If you don’t, then you are not good enough to win, and you should work on your weaknesses for next time.

And if it’s been 99 years since the Cubs won a World Series, guess what that means? They have not been good enough. For 99 years.

Yes, the truth stings sometimes.

So to all of you: stop with the crying, and whining, and the pity party, and go change your tampons and get your binkies and your pacifiers, and just go curl up into the fetal position in the corner so you can manage to maintain your sanity, and not destroy mine, during the next few days of tension-filled Cubbie angst.

And please, for the love of God, SHUT UP, and let those of us who can accept our fate like men, do so.

Win, lose, or draw, the drama of a pennant chase is an everyday adventure that is exciting like no other sport, so enjoy it, and live every moment of it, and pull back from it when you have to, but then come right back to it, like a moth to a flame, and all the while realize that this is what it’s like to be alive. And if you don’t win, oh well … I guess you weren’t good enough!

Besides, that’s exactly what Scotch is for. I bought mine last week. Bring on the playoffs!


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