Mad Skillz

Content Warning – Parental Guidance Suggested

Having 3 sons means you are privy to a very special kind of humor in your household.

Like, the other morning, one of my sons walks into our bathroom, stark-raving naked, to pee. And while he is peeing, he (1) dances around, while (2) singing “mad skillz, mad skillz”, with (3) his hands in the air.

Got that?  Peeing, while dancing, hands-free, and still hitting the target.  And singing about it all the while. These are, indeed, mad skillz.

All the men out there know what I mean here.  The ladies, being unaccustomed to dealing with such things, might think that, “well, what’s the big deal, you just point it somewhere, that’s where the pee goes, right?”.

Oh, if only that were true.  Trust me on this.  If only that were true; there are tricky angles, and unexpected twisting of fleshy appendages to take into account.  You think you’re aiming straight, but sometimes it veers left and high, other times, right and low.  It’s tricky stuff.

But he managed to aim it right without using any hands.  I suppose being shorter, and therefore closer to the bowl, helps a little.  And being younger, with less … um, you know … fleshy appendage down there to manage, might be an advantage too.

So, yeah, those are definitely some mad skillz, son.  Just make sure you make it all go into the bowl, OK? We already clean up enough pee around our toilets when you do use your hands to aim it.

I’ve got to give him this, though:  it was pretty funny.

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