Perceive This

The NBA has decided that the flagrant foul rules don’t apply in the last few seconds of a close playoff game.

No sir. Go ahead and smash the guy in the mouth with a closed fist!

There is no price to pay, other than a regular personal foul.

This is really good to know. So if tonight Paul Pierce gets mugged in broad daylight in that same situation, we won’t hear any complaints. Will we, Doc Rivers?

Because the NBA has now clarified this whole thing for us.

Please do not be confused by the fact that the NBA invented the flagrant foul rule to address this exact situation, where a player makes zero effort to play the ball and instead bashes some poor schmuck directly in the face.

You see, they’re also cool with the face-bashing, if the score is close, and the game close to over. And if the mugger didn’t wind up and/or follow through aggressively enough, apparently. So, you can relax, it’s all nailed down now!

Listen up, muggers! Just make sure you bash the guy really hard, with a closed fist, right in the mouth, with no windup or follow thru, so that he is so woozy he can’t see straight and is still swallowing blood when he tries to shoot the free throws. Tends to work a lot better, and hey, you won’t get nailed for it anyway, so why the hell not?

The perfect plan.

By the way, NBA, how is that “perception problem” with your refs going?

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2 comments
  1. CGHill said:

    No, no, no, you misunderstood. It’s a fragrant foul. The person administering the hit comes away smelling like a rose.

  2. jb said:

    I knew I smelled something!