Lance Armstrong Keeps Opening His Mouth Really Wide … and Like, Jamming His Foot Right Up in There

“I never failed a drug test.” – Lance Armstrong

Hey Lance: people who never took PEDs don’t say “I never failed a drug test”. They say “I never took drugs”. Because it’s a stronger statement that asserts your innocence about taking drugs in the first place, which also implies that you never failed a drug test, either.

I strongly suspect that it’s pretty much just the dissembling liars who, you know, took PEDs because they knew how to defeat the drug tests, that choose to publicly say “I never failed a drug test” instead.

But it’s working for you, I guess. Also: who runs your PR? Because you look like a jackass when you rip your former teammates by calling them all liars instead of you know, flatly denying that you ever took the damn things.

The more you talk about the flaws of others, the more we learn about yours.

Duly noted.

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