Some of the headlines today on CNBC – with a few tweaks. I’m here to help. It’s who I am.
- Are Investors Actually Taking ‘Fiscal Cliff’ Too Lightly? Related: Do Bears Shit in the Woods?
- NOOOOO! Twinkies Maker to Liquidate, Lay Off 18,500. Here’s a Shocker: Unions Made Company Uncompetitive.
- Threat of ‘Spectacular’ Cyber Attack Looms: Official. But Keep Checking Your Facebook Every 5 Minutes, It’ll Be Fine.
- Banks Are Shrinking for Good as Layoffs Near 160,000. Laid-off Employees Discussing Joining a Start-Up That Makes Gay Marriages.
- Ouch: Get Ready to Live With Dodd-Frank Rules. Because . . . Regulation Makes Everything More Expensive and Often Makes the Original Problem Worse Instead of Better.
- Storm Sandy Depresses US Industrial Output in October. Sandy . . . That Bitch!
- Three Percent Pay Raise the ‘New Normal’ for 2013. Well, Then the ‘New Normal’ Sucks, and We Need a ‘New Government’ That Doesn’t Drag Down the Entire Economy.
- Why Seniors Face Retirement ‘Perfect Storm’ in 2013. Of Course, They’re Old and Will Die Soon Anyway, and Do Not Support Gay Marriage and Abortion, So . . .
- Recovery May Not Come in Time for Gen X. Slightly Stronger Version: Young People Face Toughest Uphill Climb in Generations.